My theme here is “we all need to go to Bunnings”.
The last time I wrote to you, I mentioned a couple of American psychologists called Yerkes and Dodson. They used a bell curve to demonstrate at peak performance we have enough stress to cause tension in our system. But it’s like a rubber band, when you get it stretched to a certain degree it is still elastic and then beyond a certain stretch, it can break. It can also be said if you twist it up, the more you twist it the less likely the super twisted rubber band can be extended without again breaking it.
So stress tension makes us successful, stress torsion blows a gasket. What I hoped you might have done since last time is to ask a close relative or a loved one if they can guess your blue dot spot which is just before the gasket blows. Ask them if they can pick this tipping spot and they usually are better at it than we might be. So put yourself out there and get them to tell you what the blue dot spot is, please. They will know it better than you as your pre-blow-up behaviors. Raising your voice, withdrawing socially, arguing etc.
I’m keen to get you to learn how to pick your blue dot because guess what we can expand this zone and build a more durable self if we try to know the signs and address them quietly before the whole lot blows. Here are five blue dot stretches you can do to improve your resilience. I call them life tools.
1- Claim what’s right in your life rather than always seeing what’s wrong. For example, acknowledge what you have not what you don’t have.
2- Make small changes insignificant at the moment to bring about effective change in your responses. For example, drop one drink or one cigarette a day, don’t go cold turkey
3- Introduce uplifts. Make a purpose of telling close people something positive they have done or are doing. You like people complimenting you so why don’t you do it more for others? For example, tell whoever does the cooking in your home you like the smell of their food when you come home, you like the lights on when you get home, and you like to hear family making noise in your house because it means there is life there.
4- Seeing familiar things in new ways. For example, take a new perspective on an old problem
5- Eat an elephant in small bites. For example, many problems are best solved by breaking them down into smaller chunks
Another thing to consider is this and I’m sorry for not plugging all the other wonderful hardware stores we have everywhere, but this is something we all relate to. When you haven’t got the right tools for a job, go to Bunnings and buy them. Every new problem in life usually needs a new coping tool.
So don’t try to fix a new problem with an old tool. If you, do you might try to use a solution you used to use for something you knew, and now it is not working which is why some people do blow their stack when they have the wrong tool for the job.
So cut yourself some slack and ask someone for a tool to cope with life or maybe go see someone like your doctor or psychologist and ask them to show you a new tool. Every new problem needs a new tool.
I like going to Bunnings. Sometimes I always come home with new tools and mostly I pick the right tools. Either way, I’m always looking for new tools for life. As you know you can never have enough tools. There are about 90 aisles in Bunnings which means there is an aisle for every year of your life. There are at least 100- 200 tools in each aisle so none of us should ever stop looking down a new aisle every year of our lives. See you next time. Regards Toby
Ask me a question for next time health@fordhealth.com.au
